[OP] Registered a random number: 2017-01-17 21:11:21
After graduation, I broke up with A once. Since I dare to write about this, I’m not afraid that you’ll chase me with a longer-than-10-meters sword. Because … Because … I was the one to ask to get back together +_+
Our university is in city X, my home is here, my sister is here, and of course, this is where I wanted to remain after graduation. But A wanted to go to city Y. Back then, he gave many reasons. City Y was more developed, and it offered more opportunities; as a young man, he wanted to do more things, etc. These might have been part of the reason he wanted to go there, but when I gave up the job I had found in city X and followed him to city Y, I learned that after returning to China, B also went to city Y. I think this was the real reason A desperately wanted to move there.
Suddenly, it felt like a blow to the head because A had never mentioned B would be in city Y. He probably understood that for me, B was a stumbling block I couldn’t overcome. If I knew B was in city Y, I wouldn’t want to come.
That day we had dinner with B. I was in a bad mood and didn’t talk much. I can’t hide my emotions; they’re visible on my face. For me, a laugh is a laugh, and a cry is a cry. There’s no such thing as a dagger hidden behind a smile. On the way back, A was unhappy. He asked me what I thought of B and what kind of face I had to show during a good meal.
I found it particularly funny. Before I ask you, you question me first. You’re rational; I’m at fault.
I asked him, “Why didn’t you tell me before that B also came to city Y?”
A replied, “No need. You don’t know him very well. Besides, what does it matter to you if he is in city Y or not?”
I asked, “And does his coming to city Y affect you?”
Silence, silence is agreement.
I sneered inwardly. Look at him; he won’t even coax me a little when it comes to anything related to B.
We walked home in silence. After graduation, we lived together in a rented apartment. It was already after 10:00 pm when we arrived home. I didn’t want to sleep with A that day, so I started packing my things to go to a hotel. He grabbed my suitcase and asked me what I was mad about. I told him, if you like B, just stay with him. When I liked you, I dared to pursue you. You have liked him for so many years. Why don’t you dare chase him? What are you afraid of?
Maybe this was A’s primary source of pain. He got angry, threw away my luggage, and yelled at me, “How do you know I haven’t chased him?!”
Oh, he pursued him. So he admitted he liked B. I knew he liked B but hearing him say it himself was quite a unique feeling. I felt my heart being squeezed tight. My eyes turned red right after he said it.
Really … I just wanted to discuss with him calmly, or maybe quarrel. Any way was acceptable. But, please, why couldn’t I help crying when I got emotional? The more tears I shed, the more emotional I became. Finally, after sobbing and sobbing, I couldn’t even speak clearly anymore. I couldn’t bear to think about it like that.
A calmed down when he saw me crying. He reached out to hug me, but I pushed him away. I was pretty powerful that day. I pushed him straight against the wooden table. It was very light, and the cups and plates on it fell to the ground and broke.
A frowned and told me to stop being unreasonable, but I don’t think I was unreasonable. His whole life revolved around his white moonlight. I didn’t want to accompany him revolving, ok?
I lifted my luggage while my tears were falling. I had never felt so wronged before. My father, my mother, my sister never spoiled me. Why should I be worthless to be with him?
I sobbed, pointed at him, and shouted, “Go pursue … pursue him …” A came up and pulled me again. This time, I kicked him hard. I don’t think I used so much strength, but he just sat on the ground. I don’t know if he was real or pretending, but he called me. I ignored him, closed the door, and left.
Oh, but he didn’t come after me either.
I took my luggage and found a random hotel to stay in. The young receptionist stared at me for a while. Initially, I thought it was because I was handsome (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). Later, while checking out, the lady said that if she hadn’t looked at my ID, seeing me crying like that, she would have believed I was a runaway high-school student (embarrassed.jpg)
I stayed in the hotel for a few days. I went to work during the day and went out for dinner with my colleagues at night. I attended all parties because I didn’t want to go back to the hotel alone. I didn’t understand what I wanted. Did I really want to break up? No. Did I want to stay for a while and then go back again? Neither. I just wanted a sign. I wanted A to admit that I was more important than B, but A never contacted me during those days.
Ordinary people’s hearts are already cold, right? But I … I don’t dare go on for fear that you’ll roast me (afraid.jpg)
Hey, the truth is I could resist for a few days, and then I thought about A more and more. I couldn’t help but look at what he had posted on social media. On the day I left, he posted a photo of his bloody hand cut by glass. Someone asked what had happened. He said the cat at home did it.
??? We didn’t have cats. So he meant I did it? I just pushed him twice. I wondered if he was scratched while sitting on the ground.
A rarely posted to Moments. He just posted about which team had won or uploaded travel photos. He was too lazy to post to Moments, so I think he just did it for me to see.
He knew I couldn’t help but look at his Moments, so I would feel guilty when I saw his hurt hand. Once guilty, I would no longer feel angry. He could easily guess all my careful thoughts. He knew my weakness. In a nutshell, he thought he had me.
Two days later, he posted again. “My cat ran away from home (heartbroken.jpg).”
I felt I was doing reading comprehension exercises. What did he mean by mentioning a cat? Like in that previous Moments post, the cat was me? Or did his parents have a cat that ran away from home? If he meant me, saying that I ran away from home, did he regard our place as a home? Did the heartbreak image mean he was sad that I was gone?
On the weekend, I thought about his words all morning, and in the evening, I invited colleagues for a meal and drinks. I’m not a good drinker, so I got drunk after a few pitchers. My colleagues didn’t know where I lived, and when asked, I couldn’t say clearly either. I was dizzy, and through the haze of alcohol, I said my brother should pick me up.
Then I asked my colleague to call A. My colleagues thought A was my actual brother, so they called him. They told him, “Your brother is drunk. We’re at XXX. Can you pick him up?”
Later, I was absolutely drunk, and I don’t remember when A came to pick me up or how he dragged me home. All I know is that when I woke up in the morning, I was lying in my bed at home. He had changed my clothes because I had taken away all my clothes when I had left, and now I was wearing his underwear.
By the time I woke up, he had already bought me the crab soup dumplings I liked. So my heart softened, thinking that he still cared about me a little.
I didn’t eat breakfast. After all, we were still fighting, right? I would lose face eating like this.
A knew what I was thinking. He sat at the table and flipped through the newspaper while saying I should lose my temper after breakfast, lest I fainted with low blood sugar.
When my mom passed away, I fainted twice because I didn’t eat and had low blood sugar.
Maybe this was A’s biggest strength. He could say a few words at the right time, and I would quickly lower my defenses.
I ate while wondering whether I had gone too far. He had taken me and B out for a meal. I quarreled with him and then ran away from home. It seemed like he did nothing wrong.
After breakfast, he asked me what I was doing in the afternoon, and I asked him if we were reconciled.
He said it was what I thought.
Then in the afternoon, we went to bring my luggage home.
I still loved him. I was always trying to excuse his behavior and reassure myself that it was just a trivial matter. Ah, this is how people in love compromise and lower their bottom lines repeatedly.
After that fight, he paid more attention to me than before. He made me breakfast in the morning and took me out on weekends. He even fought with a guy who was pursuing me. I honestly thought our relationship was improving, right until that happened.
[1st floor] You’re not convinced: Tell me what happened. Don’t keep me in suspense (seduce.jpg)
[2nd floor] xixi steel straight: OP, are you ugly, fat, with a face full of acne? Otherwise, how could you be so cheap?
[3rd floor] the flower the person the dog: Upstairs, are you still bringing personal attacks? You’re too much.
[4th floor] xixi steel straight: I just want to scold him to wake up. Some people don’t understand when you mean well.
[5th floor] the flower the person the dog: Didn’t the OP say they broke up? He woke up a long time ago; why scold him now?
[9th floor] I want to lose weight to double digits: Let me be honest, OP. You are used to such a scum like A. Even if two people get along and they’re not in an equal position, they still need a bottom line. Your blind tolerance and indulgence will only make him take you less and less seriously. Think about your family that loves you so much, but you don’t know how to love yourself. I will not pity you. In short, you deserve it.
[10th floor] Carrie: Xiao Xi, the scumbag never contacted you during the days you ran away. I would have changed my boyfriend 2000 times already (indifferent.jpg)
[11th floor] initialgore: they’re actually arguing upstairs … Xiao Xi, don’t worry about them. C’mon, tell me what happened.