[OP] Registered a random number. Posting time 2017-01-16 14:34:00
Finally, I really hate the time my mother gave birth to me. It’s not cool at all!!”
[1st floor] Da Bai is very confused: Ha Ha Ha I LOLed when I saw this!
[2nd floor] wnjh_0518: It was not your mother who chose it for you. You chose it when you were reborn.
[3rd floor] [OP] Registered a random number: Upstairs, go away.
[4th floor] wnjh_0518: Wow, Xiao Xi Xi replied to me!!!
[OP] Registered a random number. Posting time 2017-01-16 20:11:21
Strictly speaking, not to whitewash A, but he really didn’t treat me that badly. There were a few times when I thought we could actually grow old together.
I have a rather complicated family situation. My parents divorced when I was young. My dad went abroad ten years ago, so my mother lived alone with my sister and me in city X. In my senior year, my mother died of a sudden heart attack. At that time, I felt the entire world had collapsed. After crying for a few days, I became numb. I couldn’t eat; I could only drink water. I followed my sister in a daze. My brother-in-law and my mother’s relatives took care of my mom’s funeral. During that time, A was with me, and I often lost my temper. He endured it and also tried to feed me every day. My sister should know about my sexual orientation. We’ve never said it out loud, but everyone knew it in their hearts. Her impression of A should be good.
On the 30th night of that year, my sister took me to my brother-in-law’s for the New Year. The family was lively. It’s just that my brother-in-law’s family is too big, and I was particularly afraid of making a fuss with a bunch of unfamiliar relatives. They all wanted to introduce me to a new person, and I didn’t want to stay for Chinese New Year’s Day, so on that day, I made an excuse to go home. In the past, my mom would make dumplings for Chinese New Year’s Day. Even if only the three of us were in the family, we had fun. I was alone that year, and I felt frustrated and lonely for the first time in my life. I grew up, and before I had time to thank my mother, she was gone. It made no sense. However, many things in life make little sense.
On the first day of the New Year, I was sitting at home, listening to the sound of fireworks outside. I especially wanted to see A. I knew B was back for the New Year. One lived upstairs, one downstairs. A should treasure each day B was back. I don’t know why, but for once in my life, I wanted to bet on myself. Wanted to go in front of A. Would he come to visit me? If he came, I won the bet, and then I’d be nice to him in the future. If he didn’t come, just let him go. Anyway, my mom was no longer around; he could also be with whoever he wanted.
I sent A a text message saying that I was alone at home. Could he come and keep me company? There was no answer for a long time. I probably waited for an entire afternoon. When I almost gave up, A replied, saying yes.
Something was amazing about A. Whenever I wanted to break up with him, it’s like he was telepathic; he would always do something to rekindle my hope in him.
He didn’t like me, but he also didn’t want to break up with me.
A came to me the next day and stayed at my house for two days. We did nothing except grocery shopping, cooking, watching TV, and playing games. I even fantasized that after we graduated, we would live together and spend our whole lives grocery shopping, cooking, watching TV, and playing games.
Well, unrealistic delusions. C told me later that if he really loved me, he wouldn’t have merely stayed with me for two days and then returned. He would have considered my situation before the Chinese New Year and would not have waited for me to ask him to come over.
“If he likes you, he will proactively accompany you on the day before New Year’s Eve, get it?”
Understand. I understand it now, but back then, I didn’t understand. I had very low self-esteem and I was already pleasantly surprised by his two days of company. I took it as a signal that I might have been more important to him than B. It was enough to sweep away the gloom that had settled in my heart for too long.
[1st floor] See me give you an eye roll: What’s up, baby? Were you busy whitewashing the slag man before we even began scolding you?
[2nd floor] YY You Jia: But he can’t be whitewashed… hehehe scum man
[3rd floor] the flower the person the dog: I’m not qualified to scold you either. I was just the same as you when I was stupid, hey.
[4th floor] wnjh_0518: I can’t hear you, I can’t hear you, I can’t hear you (cover your years.jpg) OP, if you dare to forgive A, I will cry for you
[5th floor] MiaoMaoo: Does Xiao Xi have only a sister as a family member now? YingYing I want to hug you (;’ ༎ຶД༎ຶ)
[OP] Registered a random number: 2017-01-16 22:11:33
To answer everyone’s questions: 1. I didn’t say I would forgive A. Besides, the issue between us is not forgiveness but love. He didn’t love me before; I no longer love him now. 2. Besides my sister, I also have a father. I am in contact with him every month, but he only returns to China once every few years. Should I tell you guys that my dad is gay? Forget it; I don’t want to say it.
Let’s continue writing.
During the two years B was abroad, I thought I got along pretty well with A. Although occasionally he would still stand me up for one reason or another, the frequency was much smaller than before. He liked to travel. During those two years, we traveled to several cities. I was so afraid of water that I learned to swim and got my diving certificate. Occasionally, on a whim, he would even hug me in crowded places.
However, there are some things I only realized afterward. For example, he never posted a photo with me alone on any social media. In the pictures with me, there always had to be other friends as well. I comforted myself that he didn’t want to make his sexuality too obvious on social media. After all, this society still has a lot of malice towards gays.
Later, after I broke up with A, I went out for dinner with one of his friends. His friend accidentally spilled the beans: Before B had a girlfriend, A had taken many photos with B. Most of the high school knew A liked B. Once the two of them fought, so he deleted the photos. But as far as he knew, A had saved all those photos to an album.
So there’s no such thing as A caring what others think. He just didn’t think I deserved it, that’s all.
[1st floor] YY You Jia: What? Xiao Xi Xi, say, what is your dad?
[2nd floor] I am the man who wants to become One Piece: Xiao Xi Xi, you became terrible. You’ve learned to whet our appetite.
[OP] Registered a random number: 2017-01-16 22:13:32
It’s late. I’m much more tired today. Thank you for listening to my story. I’ll go first. Sleeping early is good for the skin.
Good night (＾ω＾）
[1st floor] wnjh_0518: Grabs Xiao Xi Xi – you’re not allowed to go!